After backpacking in South East Asia and Oz

Its interesting...2 months ago I got back from a trip in South East Asia and Australia for 3 months by myself. This was the first big trip I have taken by myself since meeting Sami in year 2001. On the plane ride over from Amsterdam to Hong Kong I remember wondering why I went travelling.

As I travelled around throughout 3 months, it became more and more clear to me that I had set out looking for something, and I wasn't sure exactly what it was. Friends? A job? A school? Life lessons? Happiness? I don't know, maybe all of those.

Anyway, I came back home with a new sense of independence, freedom, and some life-changing experiences. But I still feel that yearning to go and travel around the entire world looking for new experiences, passions, people etc... Im not sure if I'll ever really find exactly what Im looking for by chasing it around the world. But Im gonna try and also try have some fun trying.

After a rough day

After a rough day my brains just can’t stop thinking about it all. Need to write, write and write a little bit more.... Just need to get it this all out of my head, then I can sleep again, I hope.

In last days I have noticed that SO many people are trying to find a course in their life, in so many different ways. There are a lot of diverse ways - building career, studying, reading, taking different spiritual classes, meditating, drinking, getting into relationship/married, having babies, trying extreme sports...

I think I have always travelled to find a purpose in life. I have always felt like I will never find myself if I get stuck in my regular daily routine; so I've been always trying to find different people and to see different places, with a little hope to find something. I don't know what. Maybe an activity I would really love to do, maybe a place where I would like to stay, maybe philosophy or religion that I would find inspiring, maybe a guru... or maybe my life would try to surprise me in some other way. I always knew that I won't find nothing new If I stay home.

Right now I'm preparing myself for my next trip. One more time I have a hope and I'm questioning myself - maybe this time I will find what I'm looking for?

Light at the end of the tunnel

What I told you in my previous post is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It IS possible to make difficult decisions and get them right and be happy and content, even though I can't see it clearly for myself right now. Immediate future is clear, long-term future... well, I sort of know where I want to be heading. But how to get from here to there has me sitting up, panicky and sweating, in bed at nights.

Anyway, I'm ok. Going there where I want to go. It requires a lot but I hope I will do it. At least I do the best I can.